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Before two people actually go on a first date, they probably have made some connection somehow. Even if a blind date is the first date, they still would have had some indirect contact through a third party, maybe a phone conversation or email. The real purpose of dating is about contact and making a connection with someone. Contact can occur in several ways, but a connection may or may not happen right away, if at all.
Your first desire is that you want to date. You want to see someone and you have an attraction to, or you feel a connection with, and you want to get to know the person better. By wanting to get to know the person, it's like you want to prolong that initial attraction and explore future possibilities. Dating is therefore a way to seek to confirm those initial beliefs, feelings or qualities you identified for or about the other person.
But is what you seek to confirm real, imagined or not even present? That's what dating is also about – discovery. It's about discovering if the quality that attracted you to the person is really there and also if there are other attractive and what other positive factors the person may possess. Many times, your initial thoughts about a person reflect what you really hope or want the person to be like. And that is actually just imagined qualities that you are projecting on the individual who you desire as a potential date. That means there could be some conflict or disappointment when the individual truly reveals his or her qualities. Dating allows you to discover more about the other person and the qualities that you initially noticed or think you noticed. You may or may not find those same qualities are all that attractive when you get to know the person better. And you may discover other qualities that are good and bad as your relationship develops through the dating process. Based on what you discover, you will decide whether or not to continue to date the individual. Keep in mind that there are other ways to find out about your date's qualities, characteristics and personality besides dating. It may be worth finding out more through friends and family as the relationship your potential date has with them will reveal a lot about them as a person. The places you go on a date and the things your date likes to do can also serve a useful purpose in determining whether you want to continue seeing an individual. Hidden characteristics and talents which wouldn't otherwise have been seen often are exposed through participation in various activities with groups and on an individual basis. So while regular dates will still have the primary purpose of helping you to discover more about the individual, you shouldn't overlook secondary means of information such as family and friends, the occasional unusual date place or an activity that your date may enjoy doing from time to time.
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