Today, I’m digging more into the Text Your Ex Back program by Michael Fiore. So let’s talk about what Michael calls “Across The Bow” texts.
The Across The Bow text (or ATB for short) is the first text Michael Fiore teaches inside his Text Your Ex Back guide. This is the type of text you’ll use to first make contact with your ex after you’ve gone through a no contact period of 30 days.
Haven’t yet gone through 30 days of no contact? Be patient and don’t jump the gun. You don’t want to screw everything up, right?
After the no contact period, you need a subtle and positive way to contact your ex without sounding needy or desperate. This is where an Across The Bow text comes into play. With this text message example, you open the lines of communication and set the stage for future texts.
In Module 6 of Text Your Ex Back, Michael Fiore explains:
“The first few texts are different than the rest. . . they have a specific purpose, and you need to keep it clear in your mind.
So listen up: the goal of the first text is simply to G.E.A.R. up for the conversation to come. (Aww! It’s my first acronym of the program– ain’t it cute?) G.E.A.R stands for GENTLY ESTABLISH AFFIRMATIVE RAPPORT.”
Inside the program, Mike explains what this all means, so I won’t go into that too much. However, it’s really important to stress a few things when it comes to sending Across the Bow texts to your ex.
First, ATB’s are not meant for you to “talk things out”. You aren’t using them to fix or repair the relationship.
Second, ATB’s are not meant for asking your ex out on a date. You’re not even close to that point yet.
Third, ATB’s should not be used to try and set up a “booty call”. Shame on you!
Fourth, ATB’s should be short and sweet without drawing your ex into any form of long conversation.
Instead, Across The Bow texts should be CONFIDENT and POSITIVE, but NOT pushy. You’re just trying to open the lines of communication, so you can gauge your ex’s response and set the tone for future text messages.
Michael Fiore says,
“Put it all together, and you get the BIG IDEA behind Across the Bow texts: to create a subtle framework where your ex comes to the conclusion seemingly on his or her own that you should continue the dialogue, first over text, then in person, and then in bed. (Whoops! Did I say that?)”
The goal is to let your ex know you are thinking about him/her in a positive way, but that you’re not desperate to get them back (even if you are). If your ex doesn’t respond, it’s ok. It doesn’t mean the texts aren’t working. Inside Text Your Ex Back, Mike explains how to deal with positive, negative, and neutral responses from your ex.
When you send an Across The Bow text to your ex, it might sound something like this:
“Just went across that old bumpy Highway bridge you love. Made me smile and think of you because I know it’s one of your favorite places. Hope you’re doing great.”
There are many different ways to format an ATB text. In Text Your Ex Back 2.0, Michael Fiore includes a PDF with over 100 done-for-you-texts and a lot of great ATB examples. Just modify them to your situation and send. Easy peasy!
Learn more in this Text Your Ex Back 2.0 review.