Why is asking a girl to be your girlfriend so incredibly difficult for many men? What should be an exciting and exhilarating experience often feels more like a terrifying nightmare. The fear of rejection is a powerful force indeed, but one you must overcome if you want to get the girlfriend of your dreams.
With that in mind, here’s how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in 7 easy steps.
This is probably obvious, but doing something crazy like asking her to be your girlfriend on your first date is never a good idea. It simply reeks of desperation and neediness: two traits women absolutely detest in men.
Before asking her to be your girlfriend, go out on a few dates, get to know her, and decide if the two of you are even compatible. Look for signs she likes you to reduce the chance of getting rejected.
A relationship is about love, and love takes time to build. Girls are notorious for sending mixed signals, but it’s important that you take time to decipher her signals so you know what type of relationship she wants.
We aren’t talking about dressing up in a suit and making some sort of formal proposal. After all, this isn’t marriage. It’s dating.
In fact, you don’t have to look expensive or even fashionable for that matter. However, you should pay attention to your grooming so you don’t give off that “I live in a van down by the river” type of vibe. This not only helps you feel confident, but it also shows her that you consider it a special occasion.
Privacy and intimacy go hand in hand, and you want the experience of asking a woman to be your girlfriend to be an intimate one. Avoid noisy, public areas where there are tons of distractions.
You want to be able to talk without worrying about everyone else overhearing your private conversations. You also want her to feel comfortable saying “No” if that’s what she wants rather than feeling pressured because “everyone is watching”. Think of situations like walking on the beach underneath the stars or having a quiet, candlelit dinner at home.
If you can, try to make the day memorable and special. This does not mean splurging all your savings on her or doing something over-the-top to impress her.
Buying her flowers, writing a romantic note, or taking her to a spot that means something to both of you are all little ways you can make it special. The important thing is to show her how much you care about her by putting forth a little effort and being creative.
When you ask a girl to be your girlfriend, it’s important not to overdo it. Remember, this isn’t a marriage proposal. Overdoing it may cause her to freak out, especially if she is the kind of girl who hates drama. You don’t want her to feel pressured to say “Yes” just because she feels bad that you spent $2000 to book a trip for two to Maui.
Confidence can make or break your plans, so take control of your nerves when it comes to popping the question. What you say isn’t as important as how you say it.
You can choose to ask her in a straightforward manner or just imply it and wait for reciprocation. Saying you’ve fallen for her or that you love her can be a great way to imply you want her to be your girlfriend.
Be ready for whatever answer may come your way. If she says no, don’t make a fuss out of it, and don’t take it personally. By remaining calm, you avoid overreacting and pushing her away unnecessarily when all she really needs is a little more time to think about it. The last thing you want is to get desperate and clingy.
Even the best worked out plans don’t always come to fruition. Things can go wrong on the date. She might turn up after a terrible day at work, or she might not be feeling well. In such cases, you are less likely to hear the answer you want. Consider delaying the question or changing plans to an activity that cheers her up.
Whatever you do, make things fun, and don’t overthink the process. Chances are, she totally digs you already, so asking her to be your girlfriend is more a formality than anything else.